Accelerated Hypnotherapy – Rapid Results

I made a rookie mistake.

I know it sounds counterintuitive but committing too soon can be a complete waste of your time.

I was dating BrokeLawyer who had massive wounds from the past.

He didn’t like his mother who told him that he couldn’t handle things.

His ex wife had cheated on him. He lived separate lives with her and she cheated on him. Go figure.

He was still wounded from his last girlfriend ghosting him after four months of dating.

Because when he spoke about these women, I could still see the unresolved emotion on his face.

I was dating him and also talking with other guys on the app. 

There were about half a dozen men who wanted to meet me — not men that I was just talking to but that actually asked me to for a time and a day and a place because if you’re online dating if you don’t have a time, a day and a place, you ain’t got nothing. 

Sometimes even if you have these three things the guy will still flake…

Because of all of his wounds and his history of being cheated on, I chose to make things about him instead of me. I thought more about his history of being cheated on than mine because I was over my cheating ex but his experience of being cheated on was creating his future, in every moment.

I had broken up with my ex because he cheated with multiple women but I had worked on healing those wounds. I made a decision to leave and never look back. I spoke with a therapist a couple times a week, talked to friends and family after the got past the misplaced shame. 

I felt ashamed that this had happened to me and didn’t want anyone to know. He was the one that was cheating, he’s the one who should have felt the shame, not me.

I had completed the past and and neutralized any remaining pain and emotion through hypnosis. My emotions were flat. I was moving forward without the restraints of the past.

So I chose to let BrokeLawyer know that there were other guys who were asking me that wanted to meet me, and asked he thought we should do.

There’s a couple mistakes right there…

The first mistake was not staying in the grey zone of uncertainty which is dating and trying to get certainty too before really getting to know him.

The second was asking what he thought we should do, instead of doing what was best for me.

BrokeLawyer said that he thought we were exclusive already anyway and wanted to see where this went.

So I message the men on the dating app that I was off the market and wished them luck.

What’s Good For the Goose

Looking back, I could have still seen where ‘this’ (whatever it was) was going AND dated other guys.

As I dated BrokeLawyer exclusively, I realized that his definition of ‘exclusivity’ was to continue to date women that he had met on the dating app. He thought he could take them to concerts and movies as friends and still be exclusive because he only thought of them as friends,

Come on! Really?

I stayed at home alone feeling a certain way.

My subconscious told me that this wasn’t ok and it definitely was not my definition of exclusivity.

This was more like my definition of cheating.

So instead of enjoying the honeymoon phase, I had to keep bringing things up to him, like how taking other women to movies and concerts was not ok with me.

Instead of enjoying the grey zone of dating while I discovered what his definition of exclusivity among other stuff, I definitely could have been learning all this stuff as I dated other people.

But instead, I made a rookie mistake and cut off other possibilities before I really knew what I was getting into.

BrokeLawyer was super into me at the beginning and took me to a resort with a spa for a few days but it seemed that after getting that sense of commitment, hestopped trying.

What I discovered was the old bait and switch, as he projected all his different types of wounds with three significant women onto me.

I felt the separate lives that his wife must have felt as he would spend the whole weekend, Friday, Saturday and Sunday with a friend who came into town.

I felt trapped in this ‘exclusivity’ in a very short period of time.

He never wanted to talk about anything.

He couldn’t because he couldn’t handle (his mother was right) the pain from the past, it was front and center but he didn’t want to acknowledge it.

Because to resolve anything, you have to first acknowledge it.

I felt like I was in a cage, bound by this ‘exclusive’ set up.

I felt ecstatic when we decided to end the relationship. I felt free.

I learned a lesson from being in that cage — that I need to put myself first.

Because being true to me, staying open, and just being okay with the uncertainty in the gray zone will ultimately help me get to know someone before becoming exclusive in a fulfilling relationship sooner.

I need to think about what’s best for me, not about someone who hasn’t worked on their own sh!t.

I talked to my therapist to resolve things (with my conscious mind) and used hypnosis to detach from him emotionally (with my subconscious mind) so that I could go back to just feeling neutral about things which would allow me to get back to doing things that made sense for me.

I can’t put someone else before me and try to take care of their wounds that they haven’t even taken care of themselves.

As I’m dating I need to just stay open and and date until I find someone I’m really compatible with.

Someone who likes to do some of the same things, not all, but some of the same things that I like to do. 

Someone who has time to spend has a healthy balance of work and life, friends and family.

Someone who might be going to movies and concerts with other people they are dating.

But this time I’ll be doing it too.