Erythrophobia, the Fear of Blushing

Growing up in a dysfunctional family left me with more than just emotional scars—it nearly ruined my whole life and caused me to suffer erythrophobia, an intense fear of blushing. Being a redhead with fair skin only made things worse. My face would turn beetroot red at the slightest hint of anxiety, broadcasting my insecurities to everyone around me. 

I didn’t just blush occasionally—I lived in constant fear of it happening. This fear became a prison that built up around, brick by brick. Social interactions, which should have been enjoyable, became exercises in dread and anticipation. I found myself avoiding meeting new people until eventually, I became completely isolated, with few friends and dysfunctional relationships.

The Narcissistic Breeding Ground for Shame

My relationship with blushing was rooted in the toxic soil of my childhood. Being the first-born child to parents who felt they had to get married because of my birth set the stage for a lifetime of feeling unwanted. My father, quite the narcissist, would tell me I “should have been a girl” and that I wasn’t really a boy. My mother had serious emotional regulation issues.

Home was a battlefield of constant fighting, and I became the black sheep. Meanwhile, my grandmother completely enmeshed me, calling me her “little man” while putting my father down calling him “porky Pete.” The psychological tug-of-war between these households created the perfect breeding ground for toxic shame.

This upbringing planted seeds of insecurity that grew into towering trees of self-doubt, casting shadows over every aspect of my life. I am predisposed to blush easily anyway, the environment I grew up in made blushing even more likely. The blushing would  then be pointed out to me, making me hyper-aware of it. The more they drew attention to it, the more I blushed, and the cycle of shame intensified.

Blushing wasn’t just my body’s natural response—it became a conditioned reaction, a visible manifestation of the shame I carried from years of emotional and psychological abuse.

Understanding My Enemy: The Science Behind My Blushing

In the anxiety workshops I now lead, I often use the story of Pavlov and his dogs to explain what happened to me. Pavlov discovered that dogs would salivate at the sound of a bell after repeatedly pairing the bell with food, creating a conditioned response.

My blushing worked in a similar way. Initially, I would blush when meeting new people or feeling anxious—natural responses for many people. But then others would point it out or tease me about it, intensifying my discomfort. Just telling someone they’re blushing (even when they aren’t) is often enough to trigger the response. Over time, I became conditioned to blush in certain situations, creating a self-reinforcing cycle that felt impossible to break.

What made matters worse was that my attempts to control the blushing only amplified the problem. The more I worried about it and tried to prevent it, the worse it became. This happened because the worry itself generated anxiety, and anxiety is a primary trigger for blushing.

The Relentless Inner Critic

My inner critic was merciless. Whenever I blushed, it would berate me with thoughts like “they think you’re attracted to them” or “you look like such an idiot right now.” These thoughts, of course, only increased my anxiety, which in turn made the blushing worse.

I came to understand that blushing is exacerbated by stress and anxiety—we become anxious about blushing and then blush because we’re anxious. It’s a vicious cycle that can feel impossible to escape.

Fighting Against Myself

As Carl Jung wisely observed, “What you resist will not only persist but grow in size.” I learned this truth the hard way. The more I told myself “don’t blush, don’t blush,” the more my mind focused on the word “blush” and delivered precisely what I was trying to avoid.

This phenomenon is similar to trying to hold a beach ball underwater—the more you try to suppress it, the more energy it takes, and the more forcefully it returns when you let go. By focusing intently on not blushing, I was inadvertently making the problem worse.

The Moment of Realization

While contemplating yet another blushing episode or nervously anticipating the next one, I often thought to myself, “it’s my mind doing this, my mind is so powerful.” Though this contemplation didn’t help my condition at the time, I believe it planted a seed that later made me receptive to hypnotherapy.

If my mind was powerful enough to create this problem, perhaps it was also powerful enough to solve it.

Taking the Leap: My Fear of Hypnotherapy

I was terrified of hypnotherapy at first. My perception had been shaped by stage shows and television performances where hypnotists seemed to control people’s minds, making them do ridiculous things for entertainment, I blushed for the people I saw on stage. I feared I’d lose control, that I’d reveal my darkest thoughts to a stranger.

Through watching people like Paul McKenna on TV, I had developed the belief that hypnosis was mind control. I couldn’t have been more wrong.

It’s important to understand that clinical hypnotherapy is nothing like stage hypnosis. It’s a structured therapeutic approach grounded in psychological principles. Hypnotherapists work collaboratively with clients to establish treatment goals, making it a legitimate mental health intervention where you remain in control throughout the process.

The Session That Changed Everything

Finally gathering my courage, I scheduled a hypnotherapy session. My desperation to overcome the fear of blushing had outweighed my fear of hypnosis itself.

During the session, the hypnotherapist guided me into a deeply relaxed state—a focused form of attention rather than the mind-controlled trance I had feared. In this state, we were able to access and address the traumatic memories related to my blushing.

I was guided to reframe my perception of blushing—to view it not as a source of embarrassment but as a natural physiological response. This shift in perspective began to reduce the anxiety associated with my fear.

The powerful state of relaxation I experienced enabled me to mentally rehearse social situations without blushing and to confront my fear with a renewed sense of confidence. Through guided imagery, I visualized successful social interactions without fear, which reinforced my confidence and self-esteem.

My Transformation

The results were nothing short of miraculous for me. In just one hypnosis session, blushing completely stopped being a problem. The fear that had controlled my life for so long began to loosen its grip.

Using the mindfulness techniques I learned and cultivated through hypnotherapy (because hypnosis is essentially a focused state of attention), I was able to quiet my inner critic and reduce my anxiety levels. I learned to be present in the moment rather than constantly anticipating the next blushing episode.

The freedom I’ve experienced since overcoming my fear of blushing has transformed every aspect of my life. Social interactions have become enjoyable rather than threatening. I’ve been able to form meaningful relationships, pursue opportunities and travel. Things I would have previously avoided out of fear.

What Actually Is Blushing?

For those who might not understand what all the fuss is about, let me explain. Blushing is a natural human response, a fleeting reddening of the skin, most often in the face. It can occur for a variety of reasons—embarrassment, excitement, exertion, or even just a change in temperature.

Physiologically, it’s a temporary widening of blood vessels near the surface of the skin, part of our body’s complex system of responding to the world around us. For most people, it’s a momentary and harmless reaction.

Understanding Erythrophobia

What I experienced goes beyond normal blushing—it’s called erythrophobia, the fear or phobia of blushing. It’s a persistent and intense fear that blushing will occur, leading to significant distress and avoidance of social situations.

Erythrophobia is a type of social anxiety where the primary fear is the act of blushing itself and the perceived negative judgment from others that it will bring. The experience can vary from person to person. Some might fear blushing in all social situations, while others might only experience it in specific contexts, such as public speaking or meeting new people.

Helping Others Through My Experience

As someone who once suffered with a fear of blushing and overcame it with hypnotherapy, I can now not only empathize with my clients but know from first-hand experience what they are experiencing. I understand the deep shame, the isolation, the constant vigilance, and the relief when freedom finally comes.

This personal experience has profoundly informed my approach to helping others overcome their fear of blushing. I know that what worked for me can work for others, and I’m passionate about sharing this path to freedom.

There is Hope

If you’re struggling with erythrophobia, know that there is a way out. Your fear of blushing doesn’t have to control your life. With the right approach, you can learn to overcome this fear and live fully. You can’t stop blushing completely, everyone blushes. You can stop the fear of blushing.

Hypnotherapy offers a powerful tool for addressing the underlying causes of erythrophobia and breaking the cycle of anxiety and blushing. Through hypnotherapy, you can reframe your perception of blushing, reduce your anxiety levels, and ultimately free yourself from the fear that has been holding you back.

My journey from shame to freedom wasn’t always easy, but it was absolutely worth it. And if I could overcome my fear of blushing after years of suffering, I believe you can too.

Your mind is powerful enough to create problems like erythrophobia, but it’s also powerful enough to solve them with the right guidance and support.