Am I Actually Happy in My Relationship? 4 Revealing Questions You Can Ask After Betrayal

After betrayal trauma, it’s easy to lose touch with how you really feel in a relationship.

You might convince yourself things are fine just to avoid more pain. But these four questions can help uncover whether something deeper has been or is still off.

If you’re answering “no” to all of them, you may have been surviving the relationship—disconnected from your own needs.

Do we feel like a team when we fight?

Fighting is normal, but how you fight matters more than what you’re fighting about.

Healthy couples know it’s the two of them versus the problem, not each other. When conflicts turn into battles for power instead of moments for repair, resentment builds—and distance grows.

Can I be my full, unfiltered self around them?

A good relationship allows room for vulnerability, weirdness, and imperfection.

If you’re constantly editing yourself to feel acceptable, you start losing touch with your own identity. Emotional safety matters more than perfection.

Do they stay curious about who I am?

Love grows through curiosity.

If your partner has stopped asking about your thoughts, feelings, or inner world, your relationship may be running on autopilot.

Emotional intimacy doesn’t stay alive without interest, presence, and ongoing discovery.

Do they take responsibility when they mess up?

Everyone screws up, but not everyone owns it.

Healthy partners can admit when they’re wrong.

If accountability is missing, trust breaks down.

Blame, defensiveness, or stonewalling can quietly erode your connection over time.

Healing After Betrayal

This simple check-in isn’t about being judgmental—it’s about being honest.

Unhappiness in relationships often starts with silence, denial, or the slow acceptance of things that don’t feel good.

If you’re answering “no” to these questions, it might be time to have a deeper conversation—with yourself—about what needs to change.

You don’t need to force your partner to go to couples therapy.

You might not even know which end is up right now. What you used to be so sure about was not what you thought it was.

Here is one thing that you know for sure. You’re the one who was betrayed.

And because of that, know that you’re the one who will benefit from healing the trauma of betrayal.

And healing is all yours.

Let’s connect.