Why trauma makes you want to numb out

After trauma, your brain stores bad memories in your body and changes the way you experience emotions.

These bad feelings can become so overwhelming that the only thing you want to do is to find a way to shut them down. Your body wants to numb out to get away from vivid flashback and feeling flashbacks.

Relief for a brain that is on fire

Whether it’s alcohol, marijuana, shopping, or sex, numbing behaviors act like putting a blanket over a fire but eventually they become fuel for the fire.

They may give you a temporary break from the flashbacks of trauma. The relief is real, but it’s short-lived and has insidious side effects.

How Trauma Triggers Compulsive Shopping and Sexual Behavior

Trauma can create cycles of compulsive behaviors like shopping and sex as a way to cope with overwhelming emotions. These actions provide temporary relief by distracting from pain, anxiety, or emptiness tied to unresolved trauma.

For example, compulsive shopping often gives a brief euphoria, helping to soothe feelings and numb out. Similarly, compulsive sexual behavior can create a fleeting sense of connection or control. However, these behaviors usually lead to regret, shame, or guilt afterward, which then fuels the need to repeat them to escape those negative feelings.

The guilt and shame cycle

After the numbing fades, the trauma is still there.

But now, there’s often guilt, shame, or regret layered on top of the original pain. Over time, this cycle can make trauma symptoms worse and harder to face without traveling down the same path. And in the middle of it, you often feel like you want to get out of the loop.

Mary Jane is not as innocent as she seems

Young men that come to see me, have often seen marijuana as harmless, especially because it’s legal in some states, can be accessed easily, and is often socially accepted.

But for many of them, it fuels anxiety, interferes motivation big time, and can even triggers more serious psychological issues. This create a loop—using weed to escape, only to feel worse and more anxious afterward. And all of that on top of the trauma.

The connection between numbing and your brain’s reward system

Read how Trauma rewires your brain’s reward system to see why quick fixes feel better after trauma but they can slowly make things worse.