How You Can Heal from Relationship Trauma

Healing from relationship trauma doesn’t have to take years—or even months.

Maybe you’ve been to therapists.

You’ve done it all.

Medication. Mushrooms. Ayahuasca. More talk therapy.

Maybe, like one of my clients, you’ve even licked a poisonous toad.

Some left you worse off.

Others were just meh.

But nothing has quite got you over the line.

You’ve done everything you can to move forward, yet the past is still there, taking up precious space in your future and almost all of your everyday.

Why Traditional Talk Therapy Often Fails to Heal Relationship Trauma

Many of my clients have spent years (decades!) in therapy, talking about their trauma over and over but it’s not really helping. It’s like struggling in quicksand, you might even find yourself even deeper into it.

A little more stuck every time they talk about it because they are re-experiencing their trauma when they recall it.

Here’s why.

Why Talking About Trauma Can Make You Feel Worse

Talking about trauma can revivify it—meaning it forces you to relive it—keeping those painful emotions and intrusive thoughts alive in the present moment.

Instead of being where you are now in the safety of your own home, you’re taken back to where you’re trapped in a cycle of rumination, weighed down by thoughts that sometimes make it hard to get out of bed, let alone move forward from the past.

How Trauma Is Stored in the Brain and Body

It’s important to understand how memory works to see why traditional talk therapy doesn’t always get you across the line.

When you experience trauma, your logical, rational, responsive, regulating, resilient brain goes offline.

Gone girl.

It’s no around to do its job.

When a traumatic experience goes into memory, it’s wrapped in the point of the most intense emotion and encoded in the present tense.

This is why recalling trauma feels like you’re actually reliving it – it’s because you’re unwrapping all the intense emotions that you felt when it was at its highest and feel it like it’s happening in this moment.

Right now.

When you experience trauma, the brain’s language center shuts down—there’s no words or logic, just raw emotion. This is why talking about trauma doesn’t resolve it.

It does not compute.

It’s like trying to fix a helium balloon with a hammer; words can’t fix the emotional core of trauma. Instead, logic bounces off, often trying to fix it makes the memory experience even more intense and choked up with emotion.

Now you have the trauma of recalling the memory over and over, all mixed in with the intense emotion of the original trauma. Trauma on top of trauma.

My Story: Discovering the Truth Behind Betrayal

I found out my ex was cheating. I had receipts—literal receipts, from Victoria Secret. My Superconscious showed me exactly where to look for the receipt, and I found it high up on a shelf.

The receipt listed a frilly pink piece of lingerie in my size… and also in an extra small and large.

Hmmm.

Logic went to, oh, he must have had issues with his online cart but I had a gut feeling, that my Superconscious was showing me something different.

The truth.

Then I had a dream telling me to call the store!

Superconscious had my back again and I was learning to listen to myself instead of a gaslighting ex.

When I did, I found out there were three separate orders.

$800.

14 pieces of lingerie.

Only one of them for me.

Trickle Truth of Betrayal

I held my cards close to my chest and didn’t tell him that I knew what he was up to but I did start to ask him questions that I already knew the answer to.

Half truths started to trickle in.

We were on a roadtrip to see a Seahawks game and I was not totally comfortable. He was not the person that I thought he was, doing things that I never thought he would do.

At brunch before the game, my intuition told me to look at his phone.

He was checking out a selfie of a woman in a low cut bathing suit. I asked him who it was, he said it was his mentor.

I don’t know bout you but my mentors don’t send me selfies of them in their speedos.

My mind raced back to the beginning of the year, when my ex had created goals with the help of his “mentor” in all different areas of life, except one.

Relationships.

Now it all made sense.

You’re seeing your mentor and the relationship goals were about her, not me.

When we got home. I drove to his house and confronted him. Told him that I knew that he was cheating.

Even when I confronted him, he kept lying.

That was the moment I realized he was more committed to lying, cheating, sneaking around than to me and our relationship.

I have to thank him because he made it so easy to pick up and leave.

The Emotional Fallout After Leaving a Toxic Relationship

But leaving didn’t mean that I it was over.

It was just the beginning of the fallout from the trauma.

I turned to therapy, trying to understand what had happened, believing talking could resolve my emotions.

Why Insight Alone Isn’t Enough to Heal Relationship Trauma

I did learn that his cheating wasn’t about me.

He wasn’t cheating on me. He was just a cheater and I was a casualty. That insight helped to an extent, but it didn’t help the loss and regret and massive emotional knot of shame, bitterness, sadness, relief, grief, resentment, and confusion.

I was on an emotional rollercoaster, all over the place.

How to Reclaim Your Intuition and Self-Worth After Betrayal

I didn’t regret leaving but I had lost years of my life and was disconnected from my own intuition.

But there’s always a way back.

Your Superconscious is just waiting for you to be ready for an amazing transformation.

I wasn’t grieving him as much as I was grieving the time I couldn’t get back. And no amount of talking changed the deep emotional heaviness of that realization.

Months later, my emotion were still there.

Sad, angry, and confused.

I was still going to therapy but the emotions were like all happened yesterday.

Why Accelerated Hypnotherapy Works When Talk Therapy Doesn’t

Then, I found hypnotherapy.

Unlike talk therapy, hypnosis works at the level where your emotions actually exist—the subconscious. And hypnotherapy won’t force you talk about all the painful, personal details of what happened, what you’re trying to forget already.

What to Expect from Accelerated Hypnotherapy for Relationship Trauma

With Accelerated Hypnotherapy, you don’t even need to talk about your trauma.

In fact, it’s often better if you don’t. Read why talking about trauma makes it worse here.

Talking can reawaken painful intensity, but Accelerated Hypnotherapy enables you to resolve trauma without reliving it.

Trying to fix an emotional problem with logic is like learning to ride a bike by watching videos and reading books about it.

Learning is not the same as actually riding.

Ready to Access Your Future?

Accelerated Hypnotherapy lets you experience emotional resolution, so when you step back into your life, you’re no longer stuck.

If therapy hasn’t gotten you across the finish line, maybe it’s time to try something that actually works.

Your Superconscious and your most fulfilling future are waiting for you.

We’re ready when you are.

Let’s connect.